December 2008
39 posts
Win, Win, Win, Win, Win ... →
“Have a nice day. It’s morning again — in Saudi Arabia.”
'Viagra lure' for Afghan warlords →
Oh, I’m sure the Afghan warlords’ wives love it too…….
China Admits Flaws in School Construction →
Free Range Chickens
“Well, it’s another beautiful day in paradise.”
“How’d we get so lucky?”
“I don’t know and I don’t care.”
“I think I’ll go walk over there for a while. Then I’ll walk back over here.”
“That sounds like a good time. Maybe I’ll do the same.”
“Hey, someone refilled the grain bucket!”
“Is it the same stuff as yesterday?”
“I hope so.”
“Oh, man, it’s the same stuff, all right.”
“It’s so good.”...
Mugabe criticises 'stupid' West →
1. Funny, because…the West may be stupid, but at least it doesn’t have widespread cholera outbreaks and an economic clusterfuck beyond all conceivable proportions to deal with.
2. How the hell does Mugabe still have so much vitality?
3. Does he feast on the hearts of children?
4. Does he dye his hair?
Cheesy Poots
Jon: the carrefour here has a decent selection of imported goods...but no cheese except for the brie and camenbert that is everywhere
Me: how come you can eat cheese and not get gassy
Jon: i have no idea...
Jon: actually i think the process of making cheese eats up some of the lactose
Me: I see
Jon: but i have had times when i ate a whole block of cheese and felt gross
Me: but that may be because you ate a whole block of cheese and not because you're lactose intolerant
Jon: prob a bit of both
Mouse attacks Alzheimer's patient, tears off... →
“Any Question Just Give Us A Call. Together WE CAN solve any problem we...”
– e-mail from Dad, who I believe has been deeply influenced by both Barack Obama and infomercials.
Opening New Worlds
Me: Have you ever thought about feeding Tiantian (our fish) anything other than fish food?
Julia: Yeah, like Oreos? *proceeds to feed Tiantian an Oreo crumb*
Me: Oh wow, he ate it.
Julia: Let's hope he doesn't get diarrhea, I don't want to have to change his water.
China hands death sentence to Xinjiang attackers →
With Olympics over, China re-blocks some Web sites →
On Coming Home at 4 a.m.
Shiyin: what did you do tonight?
(Sent at 0410 AM on Saturday)
Shiyin: ok i can only assume you passed out with all your clothes on, including shoes, and as i type this somebody is drawing a dog penis on your face and eyelids
Shiyin: enjoy!
How to Stay Alive in a Terrorized Hotel →
Neurotic much?
300,000 Apply for 3,300 Obama Jobs →
Eerie silence at Zimbabwe diamond mine →
“I‘d like to just have someone I can talk to. But the problem for me is I really...”
– Kanye West, on finding his dream girl
via mirror
Hopes and Dreams
Shiyin: uh, what about your dorm doorman?
Me: how do you know about him
Shiyin: you just said you wanted your dorm man
Shiyin: at this rate i don't think i will learn anything about him other than that you want him
Me: he was in my dream yesterday
Me: he was telling me how to cook chicken
Shiyin: hahahah dream about cooking chicken
Shiyin: nice
Shiyin: what an ideal chinese date
Domino's
Shiyin: what's uuuuuup
Me: not much, just got back from eating a shit ton of meat and drinking a shit ton of alcohol
Shiyin: hahaha uhhh, i can't think about eating
Me: oh
Shiyin: i ate so much this weekend
Me: Thanksgiving
Shiyin: not even thanksgiving
Shiyin: i ate DOMINO's for thanksgiving
Shiyin: because that was the only thing open
Oldest marijuana stash found in ancient Chinese... →
China knows how to roll.
Woman kisses goodbye to her hearing →
The woman in her 20s was diagnosed with a broken ear drum at a hospital in Zhuhai City, Guangzhou Daily reported today.
Her boyfriend told a doctor that her left ear cracked while they were kissing. The woman later found she couldn’t hear anything with that ear.
